We envision a society where everyone can find the love they want, while respecting other people.

According to our recent survey results, many people of all genders find themselves lonely, unable to find dating or sexual partners, for many reasons. Nobody is entitled to sex, but everybody deserves love and respect. Can we help each other find happiness, instead of descending into anger, hatred and violence?

Love Not Anger was founded in 2018 by Alana, who originated Involuntary Celibacy in 1997. This project is her response to the incel mass murderers. You too can do something to reduce loneliness, stigma and anger.


  • People of all genders and orientations may be inexperienced with dating, or may have difficulty finding romantic and sexual partners.
  • Everybody deserves love, respect, empathy and support.
  • People of all genders and orientations are equal. Women and men are not expected to play specific roles in dating, sex or relationships. Society’s expectations of masculinity and femininity are hurting men and women and everyone who doesn’t fit comfortably into those limited roles.
  • People should not be stigmatized for being single or sexually inexperienced.
  • People are free to enjoy romantic relationships or remain single, and free to enjoy consensual sex or forgo it.
  • Most people with dating difficulties could find dates, sex or a relationship, if they want to, and if they make some life changes.
  • Each person has a unique combination of reasons for their dating difficulties. There is no one simple solution to inexperience or loneliness.
  • Neurotypical, autistic and other neurodiverse people all have valid ways of thinking, feeling and behaving. They may need support to communicate well with each other.
  • To develop knowledge about overcoming dating difficulties, we need to involve inexperienced people, late-bloomers and other experienced people, experts who have studied evidence-based practices, and therapists who have successfully counselled people.
  • Information provided should be factual, realistic, and hopeful.
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